Life in Ink and Footsteps

But before I dive into that question, a very important moment occurred: I met the family. The father first—I can still clearly remember that on our way in a car from the training school, the song “Tonight” from West Side Story was playing. It felt like a sign. One of the reasons I picked this family, besides falling in love with the mum and immediately having a great feeling about her, was Broadway and musicals. I always liked to sing. Quietly, alone, and behind closed doors. Like any proper Czech person does. But still, music was always such an important part of my life. That is also why I am sharing songs that I listened to during this time. Anyway, listening to such a classic on the radio on my way to meet the rest of the family seemed like a good omen. And it was, kind of. The daughter was a sweetheart, and I liked her immediately, but the younger boy—my main workload—did not seem interested in a new au pair. Understandably so, he grew up with random European girls and boys around, nothing new for him. Besides the bother of having to teach the new girl all the things he cared about. But it did give me a pretty good idea of what to expect, and it got me slightly worried. Rightly so. I didn’t know that yet, but my gut was correct. And I should have been terrified.

Before I continue, it feels important to mention that I love that family. We are still in touch, and I went to visit them this summer after all these years. They treated me so kindly and were very supportive. That doesn’t change the fact that the beginnings were rough, and connecting with a 12-year-old boy was not easy. It took both of us some getting used to. Okay, end of disclaimer.

The kids showed me around the town. And that’s when the day-to-day reality started crashing down, and the real culture shock started coming. Why the heck is everything so freaking huge? The roads? The cars? The parking lots? The mega-sized coffee with a bazillion extras at Starbucks? The freaking food packages? Family size, my ass. Oh let’s not forget the Mall. Roosevelt Field was the biggest mall I’ve ever seen in my life. Probably still is.  Also, why weren’t there any pedestrians? Do people not walk around? Where the heck are the sidewalks? And why do all the houses in the neighborhood look the same? That one was a serious problem for several days. I had to double-check the house number to make sure I wasn’t parking at the neighbors’.

I had a chance to unpack, shower, and rest before the family met for dinner and officially welcomed me. And this is where I finally cried. Where the whole situation hit home. I fucking panicked, couldn’t breathe. But as the practical human I am, I stopped after a moment, told myself I couldn’t do shit about it now, and went on with the rest of the day. Sounds like bullshit? I know it does, but trust me. I was a master at masking my emotions back then. Was it healthy for me? No. Did I know it? Of course not, it was a coping mechanism. Don’t blame me. We all deal with tough shit somehow.

Anyway, the next few days I was getting used to my new routine. Wake up, help the kids, make food, get them ready for school, and drive them there. Because kids in America can’t walk to school. Yes, I know, safety and everything. But I am Eastern European. We are accompanied on our way to school at the age of 6 by our parent(s) during the first week, and then we go alone. Or with some classmates. Or other kids from the ugly panel houses most of us lived in. That was the reality I grew up in. Imagine my shock when I stood in line to drop off kids at the designated spot in front of the school for the first time. That shit was blowing my mind. Also, it was like a 7-minute walk. And we spent 10 minutes driving and waiting in line. Like, what the heck?

Oh, would you like an update on the big love story? Let me give it to you.  We are on a day number 10. During our call he says I do not pay enough attention to him and we don’t have a future, so what is the point? We fight, I cry. We hang up, and I cry some more. And then I went on with my day. Because I couldn’t do anything about it. I know, what freaking devotion from both sides. He was already giving up and I didn’t really let it bother me. Shocking, considering how mopey I was in the previous entries. So yeah, like I said last time, naïve Airhead.

And what song are we listening to today?
Pilgrim – MØ